I don’t say this lightly, but yoga has ‘saved’ me many times.
I first dabbled in yoga when I was at university. The student gym had a number of classes on offer and yoga was one of them. I remember feeling quite smug as a certain level of flexibility seemed to come naturally back then (oh to be young and nimble), so I kept at it for a while.
Over the years, I’ve dipped in and out of my yoga practice. Every time I’d come back to it, one main thought would dominate: why the hell did I ever quit? I could tell that I gained something more than just physical fitness from the practice. That it gave me many more benefits than flexibility, strength, and stamina — it also gave me a still mind, mindfulness, and a general sense of mental peace and clarity.
Getting over a breakup
Over three years ago, my relationship of three years came to an abrupt and brutal end. I was devastated. It took the best part of two years for me to even begin to feel remotely like myself again.
When the breakup first happened, I knew that I’d have to do something to keep myself afloat. Living back at my mum’s with little to do other than try to piece together what the hell had gone wrong, I knew that the only way I’d be able to move up and out of the way I was feeling was to get into a routine of some kind. And so that routine started with 15 minutes of meditation and an hour-long yoga practice.
Every morning, I’d roll out my mat on the terrace outside my room and move through sun salutations and various asanas. For those 60 minutes, all that mattered was what was happening on my mat. Focusing on my breath and the way my body felt in the different postures helped to take my mind off the situation I was in. For those 60 minutes, the rest of the world didn’t exist. It didn’t matter that my life had seemingly crashed and burnt around me; I had my practice and it helped me to feel more grounded and at peace with what was happening.
Sadly, after I moved back to Dubai, I fell out of the practice. It would take two years for me to consistently get back onto my mat again.
Back to my mat
During last year’s Ramadan, I found myself with a lot of spare time on my hands (note: here in Dubai we have reduced working hours during Ramadan so that those who are fasting can spend more time with their families). In fact, the prospect of having so much free time scared me a little: “What if I get lonely?” I asked myself. I also didn’t want to waste those two extra hours of daily personal time on zoning out in front of Netflix. I wanted to make them count.
I had seen that my local yoga studio, Urban Yoga — a place I had been to a few times and loved — had a special deal on their monthly package for the month of Ramadan, so I took the plunge and signed up, making a promise to myself to go every single day for a month.
It felt so damn good to be back on the mat.
I managed to go every day and I’m proud (and ridiculously happy) to say that I’m now four months into regular practice. Sadly, I’m unable to keep up a daily commitment now that I’m back to normal working hours, but I go at least four times a week.
The changes have been miraculous considering it’s only been four months.
Endless benefits of practice
Firstly, the physical. It’s been such a fascinating and exciting journey for me to see my body gain strength and muscle. The first time I discovered I had actual triceps was hilarious — I spent the whole day feeling myself up because I couldn’t quite believe it.
Being able to do chaturanga properly for the first time in my life was nothing short of momentous. I walked around with a goofy grin on my face for the rest of that day. And it’s the same drill every time I manage to mould myself into a position that shows how much stronger I’m getting — it gives me an incredible sense of achievement.
Strength aside, I also feel myself getting more and more flexible. I also recently started to attend advanced classes and not only am I able to keep up with the pace — I am also able to do most of the poses!
But the most important part of this, I feel, is how it makes me feel mentally. Yoga, alongside therapy, has done wonders for my mental health, and here’s why:
A lot of people shy away from yoga because of its roots in religion and spirituality (Hinduism, to be specific), but the aspects of yoga that have been derived from these teachings are ones that I passionately feel can do us a world of good.
Mindfulness is one aspect, for example. Mindfulness — bringing one’s attention to the present moment — is a hot topic in wellness and psychology, and for good reason given the benefits (a decrease in depressive symptoms and improved physical health, for example). And yoga is the perfect training ground for mindfulness. Throughout your practice, you’ll be repeatedly reminded to bring your attention to your breath and to the sensations you feel in your body. And as a result, you’re constantly in the present moment. You quickly find that being in the present moment is what helps you to perform the poses with more control and confidence.
I also find that the mindfulness training that I get in yoga helps me in my daily life. I regularly find myself bringing my awareness back to my breath, particularly during stressful times or if I feel a bout of anxiety coming on.
Another reason why it does wonders for my mental health is that through yoga I’m continuously brought back to the notion of letting things go (I prefer the expression ‘letting things be,’ personally). In yoga, you’re invited to let go of any expectations that you have — expectations of what poses you want to get into, for example — as well as any thoughts that come into your mind. Letting go can be related back to Buddhism and the art of non-attachment, which in this case is letting go of attachment to any particular outcome.
With every exhale, teachers invite you to let go and it’s a constant reminder of this notion to let things just be.
As someone who is impatient and wants instant results in her life, I find this particularly soothing. When a barrage of negative thoughts come into my mind (along the lines of ‘you’ll never do a job you’re passionate about,’ ‘by this age, you really believed you’d be more successful’ etc.), I remind myself to let go, so instead of latching onto that particular thought process, I focus on something more positive, like writing or reading.
Yoga and positive body image
Yoga also does wonder for my body image. In my teens and early twenties, I was on the borderline of having an eating disorder and I’ve always struggled with negative body image. Getting fit was always equated with becoming skinny (i.e. more desirable and attractive) and I saw food as the enemy — the one thing coming between me and that ideal figure.
Thankfully, through a lot of self-reflection and self-work, as I’ve grown older I’ve become far more comfortable in my own skin. I now exercise to feel strong and fit, not to lose weight or fit into a new pair of jeans.
Yoga helps me to appreciate just how incredible my body is. Whenever I get into a particularly challenging asana, all I can think of is how amazing our bodies truly are (and how sad it is we’re taught to self-loathe by the beauty and fitness industries). And it’s difficult not to become so much more familiar and comfortable with your body when you spend so much time practising yoga.
When I find myself in a peculiar position I can’t help but say hello to various parts of my anatomy (“oh hello there, toes! Haven’t seen you from this angle before!). So now I feel a great sense of pride in this one body that I have that can do all these great things.
All in all, I find that yoga is the perfect form of exercise not just for my body but also for my mind (as cheesy and cliched as that sounds). Personally, with other forms of exercise I feel great for about half an hour or so afterwards, but I never carry any of the lessons I may have learnt in the class into my everyday life. Whereas with yoga, I feel the effects continuously, from my posture, through to focusing on my breath whenever life feels a bit out of control.
Now that I’m back to it, I can honestly say I’m in it for the long haul, and I’m even thinking of taking a yoga teacher’s training at some point to further my practice.
If you’ve never tried yoga, I highly recommend you give it a go. Let go of anything you’ve heard about it (it’s too spiritual, you need to be flexible to do it, it’s only for women etc. etc. etc.) and just try. I truly believe you won’t regret it.
